Typed 2016 from David G. Marr penscript July 1967
The Self-immolation of Nhất Chí Mai
Coed student of the Faculty of Letters, Saigon
May 16, 1967
Western observers of Viet-nam are perhaps no longer really shocked by Buddhists who choose to express their deepest feelings by drenching themselves in gasoline and lighting a match… Even Vietnamese have come to pay less attention to these events.
Nhất Chí Mai’s self-immolation last May has been kept pretty much out of the local press and it is highly doubtful that Buddhists in the villages and hamlets know about her in the same way they know about Thích Quảng Đức, the first monk to burn himself in the anti-Diem movement of 1963. However, among intellectuals her death has had considerable impact, the type of underground surge of feeling and personal re-assessment that is never reflected in day-to-day newspaper headlines.
This impact on educated Vietnamese, particularly the young people, is due without question to: 1) her status as a university student and well-known Buddhist social action leader; and 2) her small, handwritten notebook of letters and poems composed in the days prior to her self-immolation. Her writing is coherent and in excellent taste – hardly the work of an unstable personality. Here we attempt translations of several letters and poems, the latter naturally rendered more for content than poetic style.
Viet-Nam, Oh Viet-Nam!
Will you hear the last will
Of someone who loves Viet-Nam?
Who loves our revolutionary forefathers,
Our new, young revolutionaries,
Our orphans, our widows,
Our wounded, our imprisoned.
Who loves the mountains and rivers,
And every drop of blood,
Both of the meek and the fierce.
Viet-Nam, Oh Viet-Nam!
Why do we bear grudges forever?
How can we be happy with killing?
In victory, who are the vanquished?
Who bears both the honor and dishonor?
Throw away labels and slogans,
We are all children of Viet-Nam.
Join hands sincerely,
Forget the self, save the land.
Viet-Nam, Oh Viet Nam!
Why did an American burn himself?
Why does the world demonstrate?
Why is Viet-Nam silent,
Not daring to talk of Peace?
I see the baseness of it all,
I feel the bitterness in my heart.
In life I cannot speak,
Only in death may I be heard.
Peace is criminal!
Peace is Communist!
No, from a sense of humanism
I must speak of Peace!
Clasping my hands I kneel down,
Accepting physical pain,
Hoping to move those who may hear.
Oh please put your arms back at your side!
Put your arms at your side!
Twenty years already
The blood has spilled.
Don’t destroy my people!
Clasping my hands I kneel down…
To the President of the United States of America
As an ordinary woman of little ability or strength, I am greatly pained by the present condition of my country. The stock phrase about freedom and happiness which you have repeated often is now outdated and ridiculous.
How may tons of explosives, how much money has been poured on the heads of my countrymen, destroying either their bodies or their patriotic souls?
How many Vietnamese trusted and loved by the people have been harrassed or murdered by your subordinates?
How many farsighted, humanistic, brave Americans have been condemned, banished just because of your errors?
And you speak of happiness and freedom! Do you realize that almost all my countrymen, deep down, are sick and tired of the Americans who have brought more agony and war to their doorstep?
You continue to escalate the war, to pour in more manpower and resources, but you are only losing. Your clumsiness has brought about the loss of your cause. Please re-read Viet-Nam’s history.
I mourn for my countrymen, I feel sorry for the American soldiiers and their families. They are all thrust into an irrational and vicious war. Others are poisoning them with highflown phrases.
What honor flows to the American people if, after twenty years or so, you are finally victorious over this tiny population?
What disgrace is it for the American people if, knowing that you are a Great Power, you find out once that you have gone too far and decide the time has come to stop?
To save many millions of Vietnamese and Americans, and the historical reputation of the United States of America, I make so bold as to propose the following solution:
1.Discontinue bombing in North and South Viet-Nam.
2.Gradually withdraw your troops, restoring to the Vietnamese people the basic decision as to their destiny.
3.Request the U.N. to supervise a nationwide election. The Vietnamese people, if given a real opportunity, are smart enough to choose whichever system means freedom and happiness.
4.Help the Vietnamese people rebuild what has been destroyed by your explosives. The Vietnamese will from that point onward be a good-natured, thankful younger brother to the enlightened, chivalrous American people.
The history of Viet-Nam, of the United States, of the World will forever record the civilized and humanistic action of your Administration.
To My Dearest Mother and Father:
Everyone dies sooner or later. Please consider the loss of your daughter as an ultimate offering in the name of highest compassion…. It is possible that people will discredit my death or pretend not to know, so that my action will then become meaningless and forgotten. That’s all right. Don’t worry yourselves along those lines. Buddha is wiser than they. You, my mother and father, know your daughter better than they. Life has results that mortal man cannot perceive. I know that my death may not bring about the happy result of Peace in Viet-Nam, whereas my death is certain to produce sadness for you both.
I beg your forgiveness.
Please accept all this in an enlightened and calm manner — out of 5 children giving up one child to humanity. If a wayward bullet in times of trouble had struck down one of your children, would it reflect on your efforts on our behalf? ….
Concerning the property at P.N.T.A. and my jewelry, please sell it all, retaining a portion of the money for your old age and giving the rest to charity (the temple, orphanage, hospital, tubercularium, the poor…).
Don’t regret. What is there in life that we can hang on to forever? We cannot even have our loved ones or our own mortal bodies, much less money and property. It’s enough just to not expend it all foolishly.
For my remains please buy a simple coffin and bring it to Từ Nghiêm [Temple]. Have prayers recited and then take my remains to An Dương for creamation. See if there are any indestructable “Buddha relics”. Who knows? There just might be – but I’m only kidding, Mom and Dad, it doesn’t matter. I’m not acting blindly or fanatically, really. Your child is very enlightened.
Please heed what I have said and forgive me.
I embrace you both a hundred times!
I bow before my beloved Mother and Father.
Nhất Chi Mai’s last written comments:
I have left a total of ten letters.
Tomorrow I will, on my own, prepare a ceremony of self-immolation.
I have notified some newsmen, photographers and a few close friends to be at a certain place, without telling them the reason.
I have purchased 10 liters of gasoline.
The place I have chosen is Từ Nghiêm Temple. I had thought of going to the St.Mary’s Cathedral or another public place of historical interest, but no….
In front of me I will place two statues:
- Mary, her hands held out in greeting.
- Quan Âm (Kwannon), the Goddess of Mercy, with her gentle eyes.
Both will be looking at me and wishing me well. In front and behind I will have two banners, in my own handwriting:
“Your Child kneels over in prayer. May Mother Mary and the Goddess of Mercy help accomplish my vows”.
“Offering my body as a torch,
May it bring light to the ignorant,
May it awaken men’s feelings,
May it bring Peace to Viet-Nam”
I pray that I will be brave and calm, sitting amidst the flames.
I will kneel over, clasping my hands, chanting Buddha’s name, and calling for Viet-Nam.
The one who burns for Peace:
Thích nữ Nhất Chí Mai
Student at the Faculty of Letters, Saigon
Student of Vạn Hạnh University
David G Marr Vietnam History 